Simi Taiji...
Monday, May 08, 2006
Calm down alot 2day...
1st thing in the morning, I was late for school...
4got to put alarm be4 slp...*pengz*
Y'day go out wif Ah Fook and tok abt alot of things...
It's always Fook when I am stressed...
Eventhough nothing is solved but feels so much better when I can voice it out...
2 Brains are better than 1...
Maybe I still need to work on my control of my dark side...
The darkside of me was nv shown to girls...
But part of it is shown sometimes...
It's been 7 years I work on the control...
Although I have managed to suppress most of the darkside but not totally covered...
Maybe I still need a few more years to work out the power of control...
Alunso is now 2gether wif sL not really gonna ask him out to solve my problems...
Exactly wat problems I have? I also dunno...
Maybe are jus some trival matters tat pple dragged until now bah...
Sometimes I wonder should I even care abt such trival matters?
Last time I may treat those matters seriously but they seem almost meaningless to me now...
Fook said I change fast, he also notices this is the first time my feelings for a girl changed so fast...
Conversation between Joel and Fook
Joel: I learn from the girl 1 lor...
Fook: Liew, I dun like the current reaction u made lor...
Joel: I also hate being a heartless person but I seem to be forced to react in such a way...
Fook: So tat time u ask for patch how?
Joel: I was stabbed 2 times in the face, and nearly lose control of my darkside lor...She say "See mood lor..."
Fook: Wat sia, if she happy then she patched, wat if she not happy then she wan a break up ar?
Joel: Means something like tat bah...
Fook: 2nd Stab leh?
Joel: Tat's even worse, I alighted from the bus-stop at her place...I wanted to have a gd tok...I held her back and she say something tat gave me a shock..."Let go or I shout..."
Fook: OMG...Wtf...
Joel: The girl I loved say such a thing to me...how do u tink I will feel?
Fook: Sad sia, terrible sia...
End Conversation
Thoughts For the Day...
4:20 PM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Jus awaken and I realize tat I was crying while slping...
It's my past tat is back to haunt me...
I remember how my 1st stead walk out of me...
I also remember all the events happen wif my 2nd stead...
Every suddenly broke out in my slp...
The agony of the past made me cried badly...
Eventhough I have woke up, the pain is still there...
The big scar in my heart...
Where is my sunshine girl, I suddenly miss her so much...
Thoughts For the Day...
3:44 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
Jus listening to music, I began to tink of my past...
It rewind like a video in my mind...
I see happy and sad moments...
I wish to go back to happy moments...
But I noe I can't, becoz happy moments always come wif sad moments...
Painful experiences, cruel reality, Human darkside...
Even if u say things time and again, they ignore and walk away...
No matter how patient u are, u can nv reach a saint lvl when even they "stab" u in the face and u still continue to enlight them...
After all I'm still a human, I also have imperfection...
But important is if u noe ur imperfection then try to change instead of running away...
So there will not be communication breakdown between pple...
Unneccessary conflicts will not surface...
Eventhough sometimes we feel lonely, it's becoz we didnt manage to find out life partner...
But come to tink of our friends and family, we aren't really tat lonely...
It takes time to find our life partner, maybe u will find him/her tomorrow...
But will u cherish every single moments wif him/her?
It's the process tat matters, not whether u have or dun have a partner...
Maybe secret admiring is still better than goin after a person...
Jus hide things to urself, dun have to voice, dun have to be tease by friends, dun have to noe whether him/her will reject u...
I guess tat's probably wat I should do...
Hide everything to myself...
Thoughts For the Day...
3:21 PM